On being no one but you
by Imperial13
Summary: They've graduated high school. They're all getting on with life. But Kevin hasn't, being in prison kinda makes it hard to move on. Double D never leaves home any more. He loves being locked away, Kevin loves his freedom. Thats where the fun is. DDxKev. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, I do not own the name, I only own the plot line, And by GOD that is MINE.**

**I've been messing with this for a while, hope we're loving it! Xoxoox this couple needs more love! **

**AAAAA**

He loved to watch the sunrise. It was his favorite part of waking up each day at five in the morning. He loved it because there was no one else around. None of the other kids were running around and shouting. There was no loud music or the sound of hair dryers or TV's blasting. Ed and Eddy, along with all the other teens were still deep asleep and the cul-de-sac was silent with only the chirping of the birds to keep him company.

He loved the colors too. Sitting on top of his roof every morning and watched as the blues and greens and dark purples faded to grays and then steadily flooded to brilliant shades of reds and pinks and oranges. The way the colors changed everything, from the construction site to the leaves on the trees, and even the asphalt, it sent shivers through his body. They melded together so perfectly with the sky and stars it became too magical to ignore.

He knew his parents would disapprove of him doing this. Not only was he on the roof of his house but he was also neglecting his morning chores. They were up and gone long before the sun was there. That was, if they even came home.

But for these secretive little moments that he rebelled. He did what he wanted. It was also the only time of day he could let his hair down. Normally he let it sit under his beanie, ever strand hidden away from view. Not during the sunrise. No, during the sunrise, when nothing was wrong, and everything was peaceful, he let his hair breathe.

The heavy black locks swept around the base of his neck and hung down just past his bottom lip. The straightened locks covered his ears and hide his eyes. But it wasn't the black he hid. It was the rainbow of streaks that ran through it. The bright reds and greens to the deep blues and silky blonde and cascaded down like paint dripping down a black canvas. He had dyed it to remind himself of the hidden beauty within everything. He kept his beauty locked away, wanting and yearning for people to love him for his mind not his looks.

So he gave only the sunrise a peak of his hair. And in the light it sparkled and it shined and it made him feel beautiful.

And so it was that he, Edward, more commonly called Double D, sat on his roof that morning enjoying his daily ritual. His loose sweatpants and his sweatshirt kept him warm as he watched the change in color. The gray faded slowly to the reds and oranges and he sighed happily. The damp air was cool on his skin and it clung to his hair. He breathed it in, loving the taste of it and sighed again.

When it was over and the sun hung low in the sky, fully visible, he knew it was time to go back to reality. He slowly crept across his roof to the corner where he had propped up a ladder. He was swift and quiet. He knew didn't want to chance anyone seeing him even though he knew no one would. Once on the ground his bare feet curled slightly from the dampness of his lawn, he braced himself and carried the small ladder back into the garage.

He opened the door from his garage and stepped into the small hall room next to his kitchen. Once the door clicked shut behind him and he knew the coast was clear he relaxed and let his breath out. He knew that no one had seen him, but still.

He gently hummed as he moved into the kitchen and started to put away the dishes from the dishwasher. As the neighborhood woke up Double D glided around his house easily, delicate classical music playing from his iPod that sat in its speakers. He cleaned and reorganized, gently humming the tunes that floated around the house as he worked. He knew he would need to eat soon. Better to eat and then finish chores then to go hungry for another hour or so.

He went back to his kitchen, glancing at the clock and noting it was about six, he began to cook breakfast for himself. When he sat down in one of the chairs at six ten he heard the sounds of doors shutting and cars coming to life. He smiled softly to himself as he heard them all drive away. Knowing it was his pride that made him smile. Here he was, at eighteen, up and ready before most full grown adults were. He felt like an old woman, ripe with experience and maturity.

He shook his head and let the smile drop from his face. He cleaned up his plates and proceeded to go up to the bathroom. Once the door was shut he stripped down and turned on the hot water. Stepping into the spray he heaved a sigh of relief. The aching pain eased at the water's heat and he allowed himself to slowly crumple to the floor and let the spray bath him.

He sat there, on the warm wet tiles of his shower for a few minutes, letting everything swirl down the drain with the water before he reached over and grabbed his soap bar and began to scrub. The gentle scent of vanilla and roses and sugar wafted over him. He loved his soap, and he loved how it felt on his skin. Then again, since he handmade it himself, he should enjoy it.

After he finished scrubbing himself and washing his hair, he stood and shut the water off. Stepping out of the shower he was assaulted by the cold air of his bathroom. Shivering at the cold he quickly grabbed a towel and left the room. With his towel firmly wrapped around his chest, hiding everything from his chest to his thighs, he quietly and quickly made his way into his room.

Once in his own sanctuary he quickly dried himself off and pulled on his clothing, simple shorts and a shirt. Drying his hair as he went back into the bathroom, he pulled his beanie on and made sure everything was safely in place before hanging his towel up and pulling his dirty clothes off the floor and dumping them into the hamper for laundry day tomorrow.

He quietly made his way down the stairs, mentally going through his check list:

Lights off? Check.

Water shut off? Check.

Clothes put in the hamper? Check.

Room cleaned? Check.

Beanie? Check.

Once he was satisfied with his list he walked into the kitchen again and went straight to look at the calendar on the refrigerator. It was a warm summer's morning, so he had left the door open, with the screen closed as to keep bugs out, and the gentle breeze rustled the pages of the Parisian styled calendar. It was a Tuesday, Double D noticed with slight surprise. Had yesterday been a Monday? He really hadn't noticed much.

Life was less exciting without Ed or Eddy to see him as much. Double D sighed and turned away from the calendar, walking instead over to the table and taking a seat and staring down at the small notepad covered in notes his parents had left for him. Sticky notes had become obsolete, and this way, they saved paper, going through only about one notebook for every couple thousand sticky's. He quickly pulled out the pen from the small side clip on the notebook and began to scribble notes of his own, crossing out which chores had been done and which ones were going to take the longest.

But his heart and mind weren't really in it. He was barely paying attention to how his fingers skimmed across the pages and how the pen glided behind, leaving a clean delicate line at its trail. No, instead all he could think about was Ed, and Eddy. And how much he missed them.

It wasn't that they had gone anywhere, no they still lived thirty seconds away, Ed across the street and Eddy to the left. But, it was the fact that they had lives now. Eddy had finally been given a chance to prove his greed was of the law abiding kind, and now he worked as a junior clerk at the bank in River City, to which Peach Creek was only a suburb to, only fifteen minutes away by car, with traffic, and Ed was well…Ed worked at the local comic book store, making little children happy everyday with his dramatic child like ways.

They still saw each other, sure, at least three times a week, but for Double D…it was so lonely, those other times. But he couldn't say anything could he? They had just graduated from Peach Creek High. Yep, all three of them, plus all the other kids were fully grown, all eighteen. All done with high school. All done with Peach Creek. Only three months remained until they all went away to their separated destinies.

Sarah and Jimmy to nursing school all the way out in California, Nazz to New York City, for fashion along with Jonny and Plank, both planning on making it big in the artistic scene of the New York SoHo area. And then Rolf, who had decided that it was time he went back to his home country to run the family farm. Double D had made him promise to write, as they had grown a little closer over the last year, as Rolf had finally taken up his offer at English tutoring. And then Kevin….Edd trembled a little as he remembered that day…

Two years ago, they had all just graduated sophomore year. It had been a big party, not just the neighborhood but almost all the kids from their school. There had been booze and Edd had left immediately. It was only because he had taken out the trash later that night had he seen it.

Kevin had been showing off his new car, and some random drunk loser had scratched it with his keys. Kevin had gone in a rage, and beaten the poor kid. By the time Edd had called the police the poor kid was unconscious and Kevin had sobered up enough to know he was in deep shit.

He had been tested positive for alcohol and marijuana, a double whammy plus his beating up that poor kid. The last Edd had ever seen of him was his flame colored head being bent into the back of a police cruiser. And Edd had slowly melted back into the shadows of his house. Never speaking of it ever again….

He blinked away the memory. As far as he remembered Kevin should be back soon, his sentence had been 750 days in the River City Teenaged Detention, or the RCTD Facility. Edd remember all those days he had sent cookies over to Kevin's parents, trying very hard to help them adjust to this new life style, and they had done so, albeit not very easily, but they had done it. So that Kevin had a home to come back to. A life.

Edd smiled a bit at that, a life. He was the only teen in the cul-de-sac that didn't have any plans like they did. He was just…too scared. He rarely left the house anymore, it was too bright out there. Too scary. He liked how safe and quiet his house was, he like how the light was bright and cheerful, but not glaring and hot.

I do go out, sometimes….that's what I have Ed and Eddy for, he thought. He stood and picked up the small notebook and began to walk into the living room across the main entry hall, and began his list there.

It's not like I need to go out to do anything, the groceries get delivered right to the door and so does the mail. I do go out, I do! He thought to himself, his forehead crinkling with agitation. This was an old argument he had. It wasn't going to change because it was a Tuesday. He giggled a little to himself. He was being downright silly. So with another small chuckle, he pressed play on his iPod and began to waltz around his house doing chores. Content, and even, happy with staying shut up in here all alone, while his friends moved on with their lives outside.

AAA

Kevin had forgotten how hard his mother could hug. When the petite 37 year old redhead had cried his name out and launched her, and her 6 inch heels, into his arms, he found himself grinning like an idiot and laughing with his mother. Yes they must look like idiots standing in front of the RCTD laughing and talking away but he didn't care. He missed his mom.

She had always been a freer spirit, a perfect balance for his serious father. They had fallen in love in high school and had Kevin shortly after, after the wedding his mother had always said cheekily. But it was nice knowing that his parents would always love each other. And him. It had been so long since he had seen them. His 5"3 redheaded mother and his 6" blackette father. He towered over both now, standing firmly at 6"2.

The last two years had been hell for him. But he had made it, and he had made the muscles that went with the new street smarts and discipline. He was no longer the scrawny sixteen year old brat who had only football ego muscles and a pickled liver. No, now he was muscled and fit. There was nothing else to do inside that hellhole with food besides sit around and go crazy or workout. Kevin had chosen the latter.

After the hell he had endured during the last two years, all he wanted was to take his meager little duffel bag, get in the back of his dad's beat up F-150, go home and sleep in his own bed, and just remember what it was like to be normal.

After his mother had let go of him and stopped chatting his father stepped forward and pulled him into a bear hug and slapped him on the back a couple of times before letting go and letting out a shaky breath.

The three of them left the concrete entry of the giant gray building and headed over to the car. Once inside his mother started talking, and talking, and talking. Kevin couldn't believe at one point he had hated listening to his mother talk. He had forgotten how smart and funny she had been.

"…And all your old friends are getting ready to go off to college except for that nice Edward boy who lives across the street, you remember him Richard? He was the sweet boy that brought us all that delicious food from his mother? I wonder why we never see his anymore, I know he's still lives there and where are that boys parents? It's not right to leave their baby boy all alone all the time…." And once again she was off on a tangent rant about all the horrors of bad parenting.

Kevin turned his head to stare out the little side window as the highway flew by him. Resting his chin on his fist, he let his mind wander ahead to the little cul-de-sac. What would it be like, being back home? Would any of his friends want to see him? Would they even look at him? Kevin looked down to his duffel bag, almost seeing the small packet of letters that were sitting, opened and carefully refolded on top of his sneakers.

All in all there were about one hundred. One hundred letters in two years from his friends and parents. His mother had written about half of them. Once every two weeks without fail. And the rest were from Nazz and Rolf, a couple from Sarah and Jimmy, even one from….Plank.

He thought back to each letter, all the kids had mentioned their plans...Nazz and Johnny going to New York City to start their careers in fashion and art, Rolf going home to work on his family's farm. Sarah and Jimmy out to California for nursing school.

It seemed like they had all moved on. They hadn't forgotten Kevin, well, not in the fact that they knew his name and face, but they had forgotten that he was alive; they had replaced his space with other things, other plans.

He had known they would have. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less. Hell even the three dorks had moved on. His mother had told him the "tall nice one" now worked with her best friend's husband at the local comic book store, and that the "shorter tanner one" was their account manager at the bank.

Kevin almost snorted at that, Ed worked at a comic book store and Eddy had landed a job playing with other people's money at the bank. It was ironic how even the biggest dumbest losers in their neighborhood had somehow gotten their act together when Kevin was gone. But wait…the "tall one and the short one"….Where was….?

"Hey mom?" Kevin said; looking ahead into the rear view mirror trying to catch his mother's eye.

"Yes baby, what's up?" The shorter woman twisted around and focused her eyes on her son and smiled gently.

"What about the other one?"

"….Which other one?" She turned to her husband, "Richard? Which other one?" Her husband shrugged, and she rolled her eyes and scoffed before smiling back at Kevin, "what other one?"

"The other dor…I mean, Edward?" He looked at his mother, and watched her forehead crinkle a little and her eyes dart back a forth, her mouth silently repeating the words.

"Edward….oh, oh!" Her eyes brightened with understanding, "What about him sweetie?"

"Where's he going to school? Where does he work?" Kevin didn't know why it mattered, but it kinda did. Closure maybe.

"Oh he isn't going." She saw his confusion, "to college dear, or work, I don't think he has a job, I never see him leave the house."

"But he's like the smartest person…ever." This didn't see right, that dork had always been reading or spouting some sort of college advanced material. Hell he had been able to turn just about anything into a fully functioning machine.

"I know, and it's such a waste for him just to stay home all the time. I think he might even be agoraphobic. You know? Marcy Johnston had that for a while, remember Richard? Oh poor thing couldn't leave her house to save her life; she was terrified of the outside." She shook her head sadly and then flipped back around to stare forward and continued on the horrors of Marcy Johnston.

Kevin let his head fall back onto the head rest of his seat and closed his eyes. He didn't understand what was wrong with him. This wasn't a normal feeling. This feeling of anger and pity and a tinge of guilt. What? It's not like it's my fault the dork doesn't leave his house. But why the hell isn't he going to college? That was all he talked about was going off to Harvard…._Ahhh who cares? I just wanna go home and sleep_.

And so he closed his eyes and let his thoughts drift away from the Eds and back onto his home, his room, his life. The freedom of his life slowly wrapped him up in its warm arms and gently pulled him to a state of dazed unawareness.

Too soon he heard the car slow and the engine turn off. He blinked his eyes open and looked out to see his mother gently unbuckling his seat belt. He cleared his throat and she looked up at him and smiled, pulling him into another hug before ushering him inside the house.

He passed through the kitchen and smiled gently remember all the little details. He found the stairs and took them slowly, his hand grazing the wall softly. He dragged his duffel to his room and gently closed the door behind him. He knew his parents would understand. He looked around his room and sighed. Finally he relaxed completely. He was home. And he was free.

He walked over to the window and looked down into the small cul-de-sac. The late afternoon sun cast orange and red shadows over the houses and the June air hung lazily, drifting around, strong enough to only carry the butterflies and the bees.

Kevin sighed and cracked his window open, the fresh air streaming through, he inhaled long and hard. Shuddering he let the breath out, it smelled and tasted amazing. Nothing compared to the sweet taste of freedom. He pulled his shirt off in one fluid motion and pulled his pants and boxers down with them. Once fully nude, he fell face first onto his bed. Crawling underneath his slate gray sheets he laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. He was asleep within a minute.

**AAAAA**

**Love me?**

**xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hope we like? I know I did**

**Xoxox**

**AAAA**

Double D hadn't been expecting today to be the day that Kevin came home. It wasn't that he had been paying too close attention, but his mind was good with numbers so, it had just been a little side hobby…that, and, he had always thought that Kevin was rather….attractive.

And seeing the tall extremely toned and muscled body step out of the beat up old Ford had made his heart stop beating for a moment. Kevin was no longer the lean 16 year old he had once been a stuttering mess around, no, now he was a tall, well defined and powerful looking man. And Double D hated how he felt a thrill of desire and fear ghost along his skin.

He dropped the bag of trash inside the garbage can, still in the shadows of his house before he pushed his back against the wall of his house, and took a few deep breaths. _It's okay to be gay, it's okay to be gay, it's just another normal day_. The mantra was something he had learned online, when he was looking into homosexuality. His parents had always been firm conservative people, and his personal deviation from their steadfast beliefs had been a crushing blow to them.

Double D had tried to fix himself. But it hadn't worked, and the damage was done. It was stuck in his mind that he was a freak, a beast, and a monster. Besides, it was like his Aunt said when she came to visit him, if he had to be a queer, why did he have to be so ugly. Edd felt his fingers itch and his eyes stung from tears.

He repeated his mantra for a solid 5 minutes before he felt well enough to move. He quickly darted back into his house and into the safe refuge of his kitchen. He went over to the fridge and pulled out the jug of lemonade inside and went through the motions of pouring himself a glass; all the while thinking of what to bake for Kevin's return.

He sat down in his customary chair of the small table before looking down at the notebook with his notes and chores, checking off the garbage. He was finished for today. Which wasn't too bad, Tuesday's were always the busiest days. Wednesdays through Fridays tended to be lazier days, so that was when Double D did most of his own personal recreational hobbies.

Soon enough he had placed the notebook back in its customary spot, the small side table by the front door, and he was back in the kitchen, humming Gershwin and smoothly floating around the room preparing a large chocolate and butter cake for Kevin and his parents as a welcome home present.

When he pulled the third layer of the cake out of the oven, just as he set it down onto the cooling rack, the doorbell rang. He quickly peeked over to look at the clock hanging above the sink and its windows. It was nearly 6…and it was a week day, which meant Eddy was coming over to ask for his help with his more difficult accounting work.

Double D quickly went to open the door and smiled gently at the sight of his best friend all dressed up in slacks and a button down shirt. "Hello Eddy."

"Hey Sockhead." Eddy quickly hugged his friend and walked past him into the kitchen. Setting his briefcase onto the top and sitting down, quickly slouching, unbuttoning the top three buttons of his shirt and kicking off his shoes.

Double D quickly picked up the shoes and put them by the front door before returning to his cake making while Eddy unwound from his day. He quickly shot his best friend a glance before returning focus to his frosting.

Eddy had grown in the past two years, now standing 5'11 to Double D's own 5'7. He had also retained a huge amount of muscle, his biceps and chest bulging from the shirt he wore, and Double D knew it had been done on purpose; Eddy loved his body and loved to be admired. His buzzed cut hair and clean shaven faced had filled out nicely, and Double D knew that Eddy was happy with himself.

He quickly picked up the small remote that sat next to him on the counter and turned the music down to an even lower level, as Eddy only tolerated classical music for him. He kept working in silence knowing Eddy needed these moments to relax before he went home to his own family. Not that his family wasn't amazing. They were just…abrasive.

Double D smiled as he thought this, the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He took a quick peek at his friend in the reflection of the window as the sun set and twilight took over the cul-de-sac. The young man looked exhausted and stressed and it pulled at Double D's heartstrings. He quickly went over to his fridge and pulled out a beer.

He personally never drank, never found it needed but he knew one beer wouldn't hurt someone with Eddy's fortitude and it would help him relax even a little bit. Granted he did this almost every night, it was either a beer or a small glass of brandy for Eddy, but it was never very much and he couldn't bring himself to feel guilty, knowing it was a comforting thing for his friend and one of the few gestures of love Eddy understood.

He placed it right in front of Eddy, already uncapped, and placed his hands on the man's shoulders. "Drink," before he began to gently massage the knots out of Eddy's tense and muscular shoulder blades.

To anyone outside of themselves, and Ed, it might have looked romantic, husband and wife routine, but they knew they did it because they were closer than blood brothers, they had grown up together, fighting tooth and nail to stay sane together in this little toxic waste pit of a suburb.

"Feels nice…right there…." Eddy mumbled indistinctly into the bottle of his beer. They stayed like that a few more minutes until the ping of one of Double D's timers went off. Quickly Double D lifted his hands from Eddy's shoulders and scurried over to his oven. He slipped his mitts on and opened the door, pulling out a covered plate.

He set it in front of Eddy and pulled the cover off, steamed wafted upwards revealing a sautéed chicken breast and greens, "It's here if you want it. I've already eaten." He said, knowing Eddy would eat it. He placed a knife and fork in front of the teen whose eyes were closed, and his head nodding slightly to the side. Double D placed his hand on Eddy's shoulder, shaking it gently.

Eddy's head lolled up and his eyes blinked wearily open. He looked up at Double D and smiled sheepishly. Double D sighed and smiled, "I'm going to deliver a present to Kevin's family, and then I'm going to your house to tell your parents you're staying here for a few days. And you had better finish that food by the time I'm back mister." He poked Eddy's forehead as he lectured.

Eddy cracked a huge grin and started to eat the chicken, "whatever you say Sockhead," emerging from somewhere in between bites. Double D smiled and grabbed the cake plate for Kevin's family and pulled out two pre-done and wrapped box of homemade cookies and coco mix and assorted household items. He kept them stocked in order to pacify the parents of his best friends. Nothing worked better than sweets and his home made laundry detergent and fabric softener.

He waved Eddy off when he offered to help and went to the front door, setting down the packages and tying his shoes to his feet before he stood straight again and grabbed the packages, maneuvering them under one arm, and grasping the door.

A small shock of electricity shot through him, and he knew it had nothing to static shock, no this was different. This was all internal. _Stop it Edward. The outside isn't going to kill you. Its night time, no sun, no people, no noises, just you and the stars. It'll take less than two minutes._

And while the feeling of pain and fear still pulsed through him, it was no longer the roar it once was. So he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and pulled the door open and stepped out into the warm June night. He didn't open his eyes when he stepped out into the night, or even when he shut the door behind him, he didn't open then as he made his way down the front walkway of his house.

It was only after the seventeen steps that he knew it took to take him from his little porch to the sidewalk did he open his eyes. And promptly shut them. "Calm down Double D, it's going to be okay, just walk quickly. Very, very quickly."

His eyes once again opened and darted left to zoom in on Eddy's porch_. A few minutes, no more…I can do this. I can. I will. _

**AAA**

Kevin woke up slowly. Not to the sound of a bell ringing, or to the sound of screaming, or drunken guard laughing, no, he gently woke up to his own room and his own sheets on his own bed…even if they were a little bit too small now. He had smelled his pillow and loved the scent of the detergent, it was new, but hell it was so much better than that shitty Walmart crap his mom had used before he had left.

He stood up and stretched. He felt around his darkened room for a pair of boxers and pants and pulled on his sweats that had been handed out in prison, standard grade, and walked out of his room. Once downstairs and in the kitchen he was surprised to find it empty.

"Mom? Dad?" He called out into the silence of his house and only got an echo in return. He wandered his way back into the kitchen and flipped the lights on, scratching his abs and thinking about where his parents had gone.

The small sticky on the fridge caught his attention and he walked over to it and pulled it off, recognizing his mothers quick cursive writing.

_Kevin, we didn't want to wake you or try and force you to be too social these first few days so we went out to dinner with the Smiths, call my cell if you can think of anything you need. Love you lots honey. Xoxoxo Mom. _

Kevin smiled a little, knowing his father had been the one to make this happen. Had his mother been in charge she would be showing him to the world and crowing about how nice it was to have him back. He crumpled the note up and tossed it in the small trash can next to the counter and walked over to one of the seats of the bar and sat down.

Slumping over in his seat he closed his eyes and stretched his arms back, grunting with the pops of his aching muscles and joints.

He relaxed and stood up, restless. Going to the sliding glass doors that led to his back yard, he slid it open and stepped outside. Leaving the door open he walked across his little concrete patio and sat in the gliding swing and began to gently rock himself back and forth, looking up at the moon and stars, listening to the sounds of the darkened neighborhood and the distance city sounds as white noise.

_This is home. Thank god for freedom. _

**AAA**

Double D smiled and waved back as Eddy's mother, Amanda, called out to him, "You tell that boy to treat you right, you hear me? And thank you Edward for these gifts! Best smelling stuff in the world, I do so swear!" Her southern accent was strong and her smile was bright. He smiled back and called a quick, "anytime!" before quickly walking away towards Kevin's house.

Maneuvering the boxes in his hands to accommodate the addition of a large brown bag filled with spare clothing for Eddy plus all his usual toiletries, he quickly made his way over to Kevin's home_. So far, so good, you're doing good Double D, don't think about it and it can't hurt you._ So instead he tried to focus on other things besides his racing heart beat and the fear of all this open space the pressed down on him. Soon he found his mind wandering backwards, to Eddy's house.

He genuinely liked Eddy's mother, she was a good woman, born and raised in the south, a belle of the ball before her city slick husband stole her away from her family and moved her to the suburbs. From the stories Eddy told him, his parents were very….much still in love. Double D felt his cheeks heat, knowing how loud Amanda was, and her husband, Daniel was….they would make a very…noisy couple.

"Oh good Lord." Double D quickly pushed that mental picture far into the back of his head and continued to quickly walk towards Kevin's house. The lights above the small porch were dimmed but they were on and Double D could see the faint glow of the kitchen lights through the small glass plates of the front door.

He maneuvered the big box of treats and the cake platter on top of it so he could reach out and ring the doorbell. He heard the faint noise go off and stood there waiting for Mr. and/or Mrs. Foster to answer the door. After a few moments of waiting, he shifted; the hairs on the back of his neck standing up and his breath came a little quicker.

The moments ticked by and the largeness of the night sky started to press in on him. He started to tremble the seconds slowed down. _Calm down for goodness sakes Edward, it's just a few seconds….so what if the darkness is behind you? So what if you can't hide from anything or anyone, and anything can come at you from any direction and….oh God._

He had the good sense of mind to set the boxes down on the front doorstep before he gently started to back away, each step slow as a glacier. He slowly turned around to face the neighborhood, focusing on his front door and keeping his eyes away from the vast emptiness of the sky above him.

He gently began the walk forward across the street, keeping his eyes set dead ahead of him. Looking at nothing but his own front door. He felt the fear crawl over his skin, felt it pulling at his inner organs and twisting them into nausea and pain. He began to walk a little faster, calculating the exact amount of step it's would take him to get into his home, then the exact amount of feet, then inches, the converting it into centimeters, the decimeters, then meters, and finally, he reached his front door and twisted the knob open.

Entering his house and gently shutting the door behind him he let his back rest against the wood, and he gulped in the taste of confined and perfectly manicured home. It was a comforting taste and it slowed his heart rate considerable.

He crept down the hallway into his kitchen where he saw Eddy, fast asleep in his chair, the plate of food completely gone, and the beer bottle still half full. Double D gave a small smile before quietly picking up the dish and placing it in the sink and emptying the bottle before placing it gently in the recycling bin. He slowly walked over to Eddy's side and shook him gently. When the taller man opened his eyes Double D smiled firmly and said, "Bed time."

Eddy just stood up and let Double D lead him upstairs to the guest room, with its tasteful gray adornments, and he gently pushed Eddy into the room, "go to bed Eddy, I'll finish the books yeah?" He raised his hand when Eddy drowsily protested, "bed, Eddy, and for goodness's sakes try to sleep until the morning."

His friend smiled at that and nodded, mumbling a "goodnight Double D" before he turned away from the door. Double D shut the door and went back down stairs. He sat down in the seat that Eddy had previously occupied once he had made himself a cup of hot water with a lemon slice in it, pulling the account books forward he gripped the pen delicately in his left hand and peered down to look at the digits written in Eddy's fast paced scrawl.

Almost instantly the answers flowed through his brain, so effortlessly easy was this math to him. He could have done this math in his sleep, and it felt good to do this, to let his freakishly quick brain exercise itself, even if it was with these basic mathematic formulas.

Soon the answers were all neatly lined up on the bottom of the sheet of paper, along with several of his own personal notes to Eddy about things he should check up on and calculations he should redo, just to check his math. He looked up at the clock, it was only 9. He had only been working for 45 or so minutes...and here he had hoped he was getting slower at this math, not faster.

He stood and quickly packed Eddy's things together and put them all neatly back into his briefcase before setting it briefcase next to his shoes in the hallway before going up the stairs to the guest bedroom where Eddy was and opening the door. Seeing Eddy peacefully asleep on the bed did him some good, knowing Eddy sometimes couldn't sleep because he worried too much about his future. Looking around the room he sighed seeing all of Eddy's clothing strew across the room. He tactfully avoided looking at Eddy, knowing full well that he was nude underneath those sheets, _how he sleeps nude, I'll never understand._

He picked up all of Eddy's clothing before going back downstairs into his laundry room, where he also kept the steam presser and the tools he used to make all of his laundry goods. Making detergent and fabric softener wasn't exactly the easiest thing in the world, but Double D liked to think he was making the world a little better by using all natural and organic ingredients and keeping his neighborhood well stocked with all of his goods. He chuckled to himself as he thought of how much people actually seemed to like them, so much that Ed's mother had once suggested his open his own little store in the Peach Creek Mall.

He had blushed and smiled, accepting the over-exaggerated compliment before stating he would look into things, which he never did, as it wasn't something he could ever see himself doing. Nor would it be a practical investment, and he was, above everything, practical.

He put Eddy's laundry into the washing machine along with some other clothing and sheets and towels he had to wash before pouring in the soap then the softener and turning the machine on, its low rumble echoing slightly in the dark room. He put everything away and began to fold up clothing he had taken out of the dryer earlier and stacked it into neat piles.

Once done he loaded all the piles up into his arms and then proceeded upstairs, tiptoeing quietly as to not wake Eddy. He entered his parent's untouched bedroom and put their cloths away in all the proper places before going to his own room and putting all of his own clothes into their places. He brushed imaginary dirt off his hands and sat at his desk in his room, flicking the light switch on. The dull glow of his desktop lamp illuminated very little, only the top of the desk and the shadows of the edges.

He pulled open one of the side drawers and took out his own personal notebook, a diary really and began to write. Mostly he filled the diary with little things that had popped into his head that day, notes on recipes he was making, accounting notes for Eddy, he even had a count of the days since he had seen Ed. Speaking of the big lug, he was probably going to be coming over tomorrow or Thursday. It was a tradition for the three of them to have movie night, and normally it was at Double D's house, since he made the best snacks and had the nicest TV.

Ed always came over earlier than Eddy, since his boss was more lenient with his work hours. He loved talking to Ed since the big guy always was able to sit there and listen, even feed back now that his ADHD meds were in the correct dosage.

Double D kept jotting down notes for a while, until his hand began to cramp, before putting the little book back in its place and standing up. Stretching he yawned slightly, exhaustion pulling his body downwards. Even though he was so tired he knew he wouldn't sleep, he never could anymore. So instead he went back downstairs and poured some water into the kettle and set it on the stove. Then he turned his music back on putting his ear buds into his ears and slipping his iPod into his pocket, the gentle strings and piano keys seeping into his muscles and easing the stress and tension built into them.

Gliding back into the laundry room he opened the washing machine and pulled out the damp clothing before dropping them into the dryer and turning the dial to about one hour, plenty of time for everything to dry.

He quietly slipped out of the room and into his living room to grab his latest novel off the coffee table before returning to the kitchen. He poured his hot water into a cup and placed the book and water down in front of his chair before going over to his pantry and rummaging through it until he pulled out a container of bread. He cut himself a slice, then with efficiency only years of routine could accomplish, he slide the bread back into its box, back into the pantry, opened the fridge, pulled out eggs, lettuce, and butter.

He placed all of the items next to his stove, before walking over, picking up his book and going over to a cabinet to pull out a small pan while still flipping through the pages of his book to find his page. He placed the pan on the burner, turning it on to medium heat, the book in one hand, his iPod in his ears, and humming along.

He expertly cut a thin slice of butter, placing into the pan and let it sear for only a second before dropping the slice of bread onto it. Letting the bread set in the pan, Double D placed his book down and pulled one egg out of the container and placed it on the counter, then, he pulled one leaf of lettuce off the head and placed it next to the egg. He gently flipped the piece of bread over, to the other side, the top side a perfect golden brown before taking the eggs, lettuce, and butter back to the fridge.

He swooped his drink off the table, while taking a sip he walked over to his medical cabinet and pulled out three bottles. Tapping a pill out of each one he put the pills into his mouth before swallowing them with a gulp of the warm water. Placing the pill bottles back into their place he went back to his stove. Setting the water next to the book, Double D opened a drawer and pulled out a small plastic spatula, he reached over his head and pulled a plate out of a cabinet and set it next to him, while scooping the bead up and placing it on the plate.

He cracked the egg open and let it hiss for a few moments, while he picked his book up and read a few paragraph and sipped his water. Placing the water down and picking up the spatula, without even stopping his reading he flipped the egg. He read on and took a few more sips of his drink before scooping the egg up placing it on the slice of bread, and Turing off the burner taking the lettuce leaf and set it on top of the egg, putting the pan next to the sink with the spatial next to it. He shook some salt onto the lettuce and a grind of pepper, placed the plate on the table getting his drink, and sitting down.

He put the book down and looked down at his plate. It was the same as it always was but he never got tired of the simple routine, that and it was really the only food he could stomach these days. He reached down and took a small bite of the little half sandwich and savored the rich flavors and creamy warmth of the butter and bread together, with the cool of lettuce and the sweet earthiness of the egg all blend together to make a symphony that matches the crescendo of the music that played off of his iPod.

It might be a boring and repetitive routine but it still gave him and his stomach the same amount of satisfaction that it had since he began the habit, and so he kept on doing it. Besides, why change what was already perfect?

Soon he finished his meal and had cleaned up his dishes. It was still too early for him to consider even trying to sleep, "darned insomnia of mine, never lets me get any rest." Double D muttered to himself as he folded clothing in the darkness of the laundry room. Then he chuckled a little; he never minded the fact that he rarely slept. It allowed him to do all the things that most people were never able to do because they all slept.

Soon the laundry was folded and placed in the hamper, he'd put it away in the morning, but for now he wanted to start mixing a new batch of fabric softener. He went into his garage, which he had transformed into more of a workspace since his parents never put the cars in. He pulled all the ingredients out of their labeled cabinets that lined the back wall and was soon measuring them into one of the large old washing mashing he had converted into a giant mixer.

Waltzing from one end of the room to another he took the measured amounts and letting them fall into the giant mixer, and soon he was satisfied with the amount of each ingredient. After a few more minutes of tinkering around and humming along to a more upbeat pop song he had heard on the radio by chance this morning he was almost finished. All he needed was the flowers from his garden. The petals gave it that natural and sweet scent that he absolutely adored.

He went towards the back door, casually flipping the switch on as he unlocked the door and stepped out into the hot summer's air. The dim lights illuminated the darkness with only the moon casting shadows. He walked over to the raised flower beds and picked a few of his favorites, hoping that this combination would be even better than the last batch…he wasn't able to get it quite right…but he would.

Soon he had all the flowers he wanted. Carrying the stems over to his work table he methodically stripped the leaves off and separated the stems and petals apart before collecting the stems and tossing them into the trash. The leaves were saved for when he wanted to make potpourri, the petals he then sorted into different jars that he had, some would be used for potpourri also, but most would go into the mixture; soon they did just that, and went into the mixture with all the organic chemicals he used to make the fabric softener.

He quickly took inventory on what he needed and wrote up the list. Stepping back into his house he closed the garage door from behind him and walked back up to his room where he kept all his lists of things. He pulled out his small notebook again and quickly jotted down the lists of seeds and chemicals he would have to order soon. After organizing everything to his satisfaction, Double D sat onto his bed and sighed. Pulling his socks off and stretched his bare toes out, letting air glide out of his lips, making a small noise.

It was that time again.

Two a.m.

From now until about five in the morning, he rarely had anything he could do, let alone anything he wanted to do. _I could bake something…no, no that won't do…the homeless shelter doesn't take anything on a Wednesdays, and I'd hate for it to sit here, going untouched. Wait! I could give it to Eddy! He'll love it…but what to make…scones? No…nothing that plain would satisfy him, something sweeter…but still small…cupcakes it is. _

He smiled at his own inner monologue. Standing up he stretched and walked over to his window, looking out into the darkness…but hold up, why was there light coming from…

"Oh goodness I left the back lights on!" Double D gasped at his own lack of attention. Rarely did he ever make a mistake this big. _My mind must've been wondering…stupid, stupid mistake. _He quickly turned away from the window and went downstairs as quietly as he could, making sure to creep past Eddy's door, lest he wake the slumbering man, and have to deal with that catastrophe.

Once downstairs he strode towards his garage, pausing for a moment when he heard a rustle coming from the open window in his living room, but after a moment, realizing it was probably nothing but the summer breeze, Double D moved on. He paused again outside in the garage, looking at the jacket that was on the hook_…I don't even need to go outside to turn the lights off…_yet for some reason he felt the need to go outside…something was pulling at him….telling him to go outside and check on his garden.

He reached up to grab a jacket but hesitated, _I don't need a jacket, its summer for goodness sakes, its 2 am and it's still hot outside! _So he shrugged instead and walked outside, looking around his garden walking, bare feet in the dry grass. He stepped towards his garden, feeling his heartbeat rise as he caught a glimpse of the open sky above.

He felt for the edge of his raised planter box and sat down on the wooden edge. Eyes unblinking he stared up at the open sky, i_t's so different from how it looks when the sun rises…it's so…_"dark." He whispered.

Double D, continued to stare up at the sky, letting the wind crawl its way around him. _This isn't so bad…actually, it's quite…okay. _He heard the rustling noise again and his head snapped back to watch the bushes again. _Never mind. This is why I hate this. Back inside. NOW. _

He quickly stumbled over to the door, jiggling the handle, but it wouldn't budge…that's when he remembered that he had forgotten to unlock the second lock from the inside. "So stupid Double D, how did you manage to screw that one up too?"

With his heartbeat climbing, Double D pressed his back against the door and felt the creeping sensation crawl over his skin. Thoughts flew threw his mind, then it clicked. Underneath the welcome mat on his front porch was the spare key.

Quickly he moved against the walls of his house trying to keep his mind only a mere second ahead of his actual body. Flicking off the light switch, he was instantly bathed in only the icy glare of the moon that had moments ago seemed warm.

Moving across his side yard to the front yard, his breath haggard, Double D felt himself slip away under the crushing weight of his phobia. Breaths became short and his vision faded in and out.

The front door was insight, and soon his hand was on the key, his left hand gripping it tightly, his right hand gripping his left to stop the shaking. Soon he had the key in the lock and was twisting it towards the left. As soon as the _click _hit his ears, he was inside, gently closing the door behind him, dropping the key to the ground and sinking onto the floor with a quiet moan of gratitude.

"Never...again..._ever._" Double D huffed to himself before slumping even more and laying against the floor. He didn't care that it had been hours since he had cleaned it, he didn't care that it was the _floor _for God's sake_._ All that mattered was he was inside, and nothing could hurt him in here. No one could hurt him in here.

Slowly, and on unsteady legs, Double D stood up and made his way into up the stairs, gently tugging his shoes off and placing them neatly in their space. Up the stairs, a peak into Eddy's room to make sure he was asleep, and then down the hall to his own room. The door shut quietly behind him. He slowly walked around his pitch black room, knowing where everything was, changing and crawling into bed.

And it was, at 2:34 am, on this most bizarre Tuesday, that he, Edd, slept from 2:34 am, until 5:21 am. And he had never felt more refreshed and ready for the day.

**AAAAA**

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here we go again. **

**xoxo**

**AAAAA**

Kevin felt awake before he opened his eyes. And he was kinda enjoying it. This, lying in his bed, _his _goddamn bed in _his _house. _This is so fucking good, let me never wake up._

"Wakey wakey Kevin darling! Rise and shine sweet pea!" Kevin let out a groan as his mother bounced into the room on high heels, he could tell by the clicking that made his eye twitch.

"Mom, I just got out of prison for Christ's sake! Can I go _one_ day where you're not being my mother! It's not like I have school or anything." Kevin moaned into his pillow before tossing over onto his other side, giving his mother his back.

"You're right dear…well I can always just throw away the bacon and pancakes…."

"The food trick isn't going to work on me mom." She huffed and started tapping her heel…then he felt it. A small shudder ran its way up his spine. She was going to do something.

"Alright Kevin, you win….so I'm going to let you sleep but I'll need these sheets to wash, but I hope you don't still do that obnoxious habit of sleeping in the nude," She reached for the sheets and Kevin shot up in bed, covers falling into his lap, and his eyes wide open staring at his mother.

"Don't. You. Dare." His eyes narrowed.

"Oh I will, now if you don't want us to revisit the days of my commenting on what a cute little boy you are I suggest you get into some pants and get down there and eat with your father and I." Her eyes narrowed and they stared down before he gave in and muttered, "fine," then she smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Love to love you Kevin." She smiled and laughed her way out.

Kevin grumbled but got out of bed, knowing she'd be back in three or so minutes, and pulled on some of his old sweat…three sizes too small, looks like he'd be going shopping soon. Down the stairs, taking them three at a time, he bounded into the kitchen and practically pounced his seat before saying good morning to his father, who sat with his tablet and coffee at the opposite end of the small round table.

"She threaten you with the sheet changing thing?"

"Yep."

His father chuckled before taking a sip of his coffee, "yeah that's my baby girl."

"….old people." Kevin snorted when his father laughed and began to eat the steaming pile of bacon, eggs and pancakes that had been set in front of him. "Thank you mom."

"Anytime babe, so I'm thinking we should go down to the mall and get you some new clothing," she said, eyeing his lack of shirt and too short pants. "But it'll be quick, we need to hustle you over to the library to get your community service hours over with."

"I have to start today?" Kevin whined. He knew that this was required, a few dozen hours of volunteering, just so the courts could see he wasn't a raging teenaged killer. But still. This was his first day back. He wanted to see his old friends, walk the neighborhood, and see a movie.

And he had no trouble telling his mother all of that. Plus a few choice adjectives.

"Well too bad babe, you're going, maybe it'll clean your mouth out." His mother smacked the back of his head before smiling and sitting in front of her own plate.

Kevin let himself fall back into a slouch and sighed heavily. This was not his idea of being free. This was torture. Very slow and very quiet torture. "Fine, how long am I there for?"

"You owe 90 hours to the library, and that's it, so I guess figuring out your schedule is something that the ladies there do...and you know them Kevin, their lovely women. They'll go easy on you." She smiled and turned to his father and began to talk normally. Chat like nothing was wrong, but then again, nothing was wrong. This was his life again.

Kevin heaved another sigh and continued to eat. No use fighting it, besides, soon it'd be done and he could focus on getting past this. Living his life as a free man. After a few minutes of eating, his plate cleared, Kevin placed his dish near the sink and went back up to his room and searched through his clothing, trying on everything he own for something that fit.

A few of his jackets were tight, but they covered everything, and he had a couple of shorts that he could squeeze into, and most of his boxers still fit, but his shirts were all too tight, and all his jeans had to be donated. Piling all his clothing onto his bed he went back downstairs and got a few trash bags from his mother.

"Hey Kevin?" His mother called up to him as he was putting his clothing into the bags.

"Whats up mom?"

"Be ready in ten minutes okay? Oh! And before we go can I have you run something across the street?"

"Sure mom!" With that he tied a knot in the last bag and piled them by his door before going into his bathroom, looking around he found his old deodorant. Giving it a sniff before applying it, _it can last me a few hours before I pick up a new stick. _

He ran back and grabbed the trash bags and headed downstairs, his father passed him in the hallway calling out a "bye Kevin!" over his shoulder as he left the house. His mother came over to him in the kitchen, taping a small folded piece of paper to the bag. "I need you to run this right across the street to number 11, remember it's Edward's house?"

"Sure mom, whatever you say." Kevin said and walked out the front, hoisting the bag over his shoulder and pulled the hem of his too small, too tight jacket down to stop from revealing all of his washboard abs. _I should show up to the library shirtless, they would get a hell of a lot more customers then, haha. _

He walked across the street, whistling a nameless tune he had picked up from his cell mate, before getting to the front of the manicured lawn and the clean, pristine and well…prettiest porch in the neighborhood. He shifted the bag before pushing his finger against the doorbell. His nose picking up the freshly cooked smell of eggs and pancakes. Despite just eating, his mouth watered. This scent was the same the one in his home but…something was mixed with it…it was delicious.

He heard the doorknob turning and fixed his best devil-sex-god smile that he had perfected for conjugal visitation days. Hey. His parents hadn't been able to visit sometimes, and he was a teenage boy, he got horny, and sure as _fuck _wasn't sleeping with a prison queen. So he had to hope and prey on the women that came to visit. And oh how he had hunted.

But none of the conjugal visit prepared him for the sight that he was met with at the door.

"Kevin? Hey."

**AAAA **

Double D had spent a hour making those cupcakes, and then another making Eddy his breakfast, and changing, and dragging said man out of bed, and then doing all his Wednesday chores before he had to go out for his charity work.

It had been quite nice to sleep for those few hours, as little as it seemed it made a world of difference for him. Granted he still was pale and thin and had deep shadows under his eyes, but he felt happier and more energetic. He had even hummed a little swing music that morning, he was feeling so scandalous.

He had thrown on a larger than normal shirt, the neck of it hanging slightly on his boney shoulder and the short sleeves coming down to his elbows, and the tight jeans he had found himself unable to resist wearing. A bold thing for him to do, considering he only owned this one pair of jeans, his parents had always thought them for the classless. But he had bought them lord only knows how many years ago, hoping that one day he could wear them to a date or something, how _hopeful_ he had been years ago. Now here he was, humming around his kitchen as the day began, Eddy was sitting at the table eating and talking, and all Double D had to do was smile and agree.

Then the doorbell rang, and Eddy didn't hear it, and Double D laughed delicately at what Eddy had said before gently setting the dish in the sink and wiping his hands on his towel, before quickly going to the front door telling Eddy to wait just a second before telling the rest of the latest story of his life.

Double D smiled and went over to the door, putting his hand on the knob, and drew in a deep breath, fixing his smile and pulling his beanie back just enough for his thin eyebrows to peek out he turned the knob and smiled.

And was met with a god. Or more or less, Kevin, though Double D was tempted to classify them in the same category. Standing tall and firm, with rippling muscles and a perfect chiseled face, red hair and a jacket that barely contained his muscles, Kevin stood with a huge bag over one shoulder and an unexpected look of surprise on his handsome face.

"Kevin? Hey." He said, somehow managing to find his voice and sound calm and collected. Smiling gently he leaned slightly onto the side of his door and looked up, "how are you? What can I do for you on this fine day?"

On the outside he knew he sounded calm and collected, but on the inside he was burning up. Because really. He was only human. A very lonely and romantic-craving gay teen. And when faced with a tall sexy redhead with muscles and a smile that says _"let me lick cream off you" _and eyes that say "_let me hold you, your perfect for me in every way"…_well it was a bit hard to focus.

But Kevin's deep voice cut through his thoughts and drew his eyes up to the mouth that moved,_ how lips can be so…intense I'll never know but…_

"Anyways so my mom wanted me to give these to you, I guess their my old clothing that don't' fit anymore," Kevin gave a small bark of laughter, "I've had a bit of a growth spurt…so here." He held the bag out and Double D suddenly felt his thoughts racing to catch up with Kevin's words. _Kevin's mother giving me his old clothing…? Why….oh wait, she'll probably wants me to re-stitch and refit__ them for the House. I'm sure the kids will love them. _

"Oh of course, thank you Kevin, just," he held out his hand to grasp the bag of clothing, Kevin for his part hoisted it down from his shoulder and held it out for Double D's waiting grip.

And then, something…seemingly bizarre happened. Double D reached out and placed his hand over Kevin's to grasp the bag. Suddenly he felt his heartbeat quicken, and he felt a rush of heat hit him. Looking up into the swirling depths of Kevin's eyes he pulled in a shaking breath before he took the bag from Kevin, forcing the hand to hand contact to end.

"Okay, thank you Kevin, I'll just…" He backed into his house slowly before closing the door in Kevin's stunned face. Turning around he dropped the bag by the front table and leaned against the door and took in a shaky breath. _I've never felt like this before…was that…desire? _Double D shook his head, standing straight again he went back to the kitchen calling, "Eddy, can you please give me a ride to the library today? I've supposed to help train the new volunteer."

**AAAAAA**

Kevin stared at the closed door for a few moments, his hand tingling from the contact, his thoughts racing with images and words that seemed to only make his small headache grow larger and larger by each passing minute. _What was that? I mean was that…Double Dork? Really? He got so…cute. Like really delicious and kinda small and edible and did you see those eyes? They were….so cute. _

Kevin slowly turned around and began to walk home, his eyes focused down on the ground. Soon he was walking back into his house and his mother was pushing him towards the door again, not even focusing on anything she said he climbed into her car and they drove off to the outlet mall a few minutes away in order to go get him clothing that would actually allow him to breathe.

But even as he and his mother strolled through the Kohl's and his mother called out greetings to all the sales ladies, all he could think about was how…cute Double D had been. It wasn't even so much anything he had said or done but it was the…the air around him and that adorable little smile and the way that the jeans clung to his thin legs or the bared shoulder of his smooth pale chest..._Whoa! Down boy! _He sent thoughts southward as his blood started to stir and he felt a throb.

_Jesus I just got out of prison and all I can think about is sex…well that's actually a good thing but not with a guy! No matter how delicate or girly or pretty he looked with those big eyes and those cute little lips that would feel so good wrapped around my…_

"Kevin?" He snapped back into focus and looked down into his mother's eyes. "Sweetie, I love you, I really do but can you please save whatever it is you're thinking about for after we get you cloths that fit, Mommy has to go to work and can't sit here all day." She smiled big at him and Kevin blushed deeply.

"Sorry mom, you want me to go try anything on?" Noticing the two sales girls standing behind his mother both holding small mountains of clothing, Kevin flicked his eyes to his mother.

She wrinkled her nose in thought and looked him up and down before turning around and grabbing a shirt and some jeans from one of the girls saying, "No, I think I got your right sizes, I've never been wrong before, so just go put these on and take the tags of so I can pay for them." She smiled and handed him the clothing before turning to the girls and telling them she was ready.

Kevin went over to the changing rooms and slipped into one of the open ones. Stripping down to his boxers he pulled the jeans up and clasped the belt around his waist, yanking the shirt roughly over his body and fixing the sleeves. Looking over at his reflection in the small, full length mirror of the room he admired his body, the dark blue shirt let his eyes become clearer, his slightly tanned skin shine, and his growing red hair looked hot. His muscles were tight and ripped under the shirt and the pants were comfy.

Walking back out, he grabbed a pair of shades off a rack and tossed them onto the counter just as his mother pulled out her card. "These too please."

The sales girl scanned them in and his mom looked up and down at him before smiling, "there's my handsome boy." She said teasingly, but there was a glint of relief in her words, and Kevin saw the slight shimmer underneath her lashes.

"Aw mom not here, come on I'm home right? They're not gunna come and take me away again so you're kinda stuck with me." He wrapped his arm around her small shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze.

She gave him a watery smile before sniffling and smiling, "you're right! Now move it mister, get those bags into the car and get, we need you at the library soon."

**AAAA**

Double D loved the library. He really did absolutely love it in here. He waved goodbye to Eddy as he unlocked the doors of the giant metal and glass building. It was one of the few places he ventured out to these days, and even if it was within walking distance from his house, he couldn't do it. Not even for his love of books. So one day, Eddy, being the deep, deep down sensitive jerk that he was, had subtly offered giving Double D a ride to the library whenever he needed it.

Double D had laughed and hugged his friend so hard, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead, at which point made Ed groan and whine for a kiss too, cause he wanted to feel _loved, _so Double D had crawled over and placed a delicate kiss on Ed's brow. And then they went back to watching the movie marathon in Ed's room, Double D secretly wiping away tears at his friend's generosity.

He had been volunteering here for so long he didn't even remember starting, all he really remembered was the day the two ladies who ran the library gave him his own copy of the key since he was always there earlier than anyone else. And he loved it that way, it was still only about nine in the morning and the Library wasn't due to open for another two hours, granted the new recruit that he was to train was going to be here in a few minutes but for the most part Double D had all this to himself.

Slipping through the doors, making sure to leave it unlocked for the recruit, he went over to the alarm and quickly punched in the code, waiting until the light switched to cleared and then he went over to the lighting switched and turned on the lights, making sure they were all working. He walked over to the heating controls and put them on full blast. After about twenty minutes the library would be at a comfortable 80 degrees, and then he'd shut off the controls so it would cool all day long.

He pulled his iPod out of his pocket and placed it into the small dock he had bought a year ago, switching on the stereo system he scrolled through and found one of his favorite oldies albums, turning the volume onto a gentle level he let the airy and light-heart classical music drift around the library, cleaning the spaces and lighting up the corners. He smiled a little before going into the backroom and switching on the lights and turning the computers on, shivering at the lack of heat he strode back up to the front desk and surveyed the giant room.

Done in an open and modern style the library was huge and three stories tall, the first level having the center right underneath the giant glass ceiling, and upper floors had balconies that overlooked the first floor but those sections were smaller and oddly shaped, meant for the heavy hitters, all the sections of hard core philosophy and religious books, along with all references and historical archives. No one ever went up there. Especially not the third floor, where all the nonfiction, non-popular, and non-new books were. That was Double D's favorite section, he kept a secret selection of his favorite books store away up there on one of the back shelves.

He knew it was wrong of him to keep those books to himself and not allow the other patron's see them, he had always bought a second copy and replaced those, but still, he couldn't let some of the patron's get their hands on the books, as often a book came back looking as if it had seen the front lines of World War II.

Double D quickly looked over at the clock, seeing it was only a quarter past nine. _I wonder when the new volunteer is going to be here. _He shook his head gently, smiling; _well they'll get here when they get here. _With that thought he wandered over to the long row of computers where he flicked each one of them on, waiting for them to load their home screens before running basic scans and booting up the library system.

Humming along with the music he spun around the center of the library enjoying the slight heat from one of the vents that opened up above him. When the music switched over to a waltz, and Double D quickly looked around, seeing no one he conjured the image of his Prince Charming. Tall and handsome he bowed to Double D and he bowed back, offering his hand to the illusion, who in turn swept him into an embrace, placing a warm hand on Double D's back and clasping his other hand gently.

And they began to spin around the library floor, his dream prince laughing at his jokes and Double D blushing at the whispered endearments. Then as he spun around with his prince charming he saw a flash of red, and suddenly he came to a halt. Staring at him, and leaning arrogantly against the wall near the door, stood Kevin.

Double D blushed deeply and quickly retreated to behind the counter, aware of Kevin's eyes following him, "Kevin, the library doesn't open for two hours and I'm expecting a new volunteer, is there something I can help you with?" He tried to sound as unembarrassed as possible, and by the smirk on Kevin's face he was failing miserably.

"Yeah there is. I'm your new volunteer. Train me."

**AAAA**

**Well there we are. xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**It's been too long. **

**xoxo**

**AAAA**

When Kevin's mom had dropped him off in front of the library, she pointedly avoided answering his questions and snide comments about why there were _no cars here. _But it didn't seem to matter as she simply pushed him out the car with a kiss, a quick smile, and a simple "good luck" before zooming off to her job.

So instead of going up to the large glass doors that were probably locked and looking like a nerd pressing his face against the glass, he sat on the short cement steps and sighed. _This sucks_, all he wanted was freedom, no schedule or forced rules that reminded him of prison. _I could ditch…not like those old bats for librarians would even notice me not be there, too old and senile to even see three feet in front of them._

But even as he laughed he knew he couldn't, his parole officer, a very nice, scary, attractive woman named Officer Brandon would be calling the library at the end of each and every single day to make sure he actually showed up. And he would, because there wasn't a chance from here to hell that he was going back to juvie. So if that meant playing nice with a few old ladies then that was fine. It was only a few hours a day for a few weeks anyways, and libraries were never busy. Well he had never been, or wanted to go, inside this building before. Why would anyone else?

He sat there for a while, maybe ten or so minutes, just staring out at the faded black asphalt of the parking lot and the pathetic attempts at landscaping made in the little cemented boxes. It was probably more like two minutes but since he had no phone or iPod to keep him entertained….time seemed to stretch out infinitely. Kevin heaved a sigh and scratched his side hoping maybe something entertaining would fall out of the sky and give him a reprieve from the boredom, like…a chicken. Or a stripper.

And that's when he heard it. Soft music was playing from behind him, drifting out of the library; there since before he had been. Kevin scanned which meant that there was someone here already here; someone that had probably been the parking lot for any cars, even maybe one hidden behind a tree or something, but there wasn't a single one. But there was definitely music coming from the library.

So with a bored sort of curiosity he had perfected years before, because he was hot, and a jock, and a teenage boy and therefore he was supposed to be uninterested in everything, he wandered over to the doors of the library and peered through the glass.

And there, spinning around in circles all by himself, was Double D. The same nerdy Ed that he had seen just this morning looking incredibly questionable in those same super tight jeans and a shirt that was more dress than shirt. Kevin felt a smile tugging at his lips, and he let a small chuckle escape along with the gentle smirk, but one without malice, merely amusement. "What a weirdo; is he supposed to be dancing or something?"

Kevin leaned away from the door and gently pulled the handle down to see if it would give; and it did. Slowly and quietly he opened the door and snuck into the atrium of the library before getting closer to the next set of doors that would take him into the same room as Double D. Pausing for a moment he looked through the doors and past Double D at the actual library.

It was a pretty building and well lit, but Kevin felt the familiar sense of fear crawl into his belly at the thought of being trapped inside for any longer. He couldn't do it, he had served his time and now he was going back to into a cage. He couldn't do it. He needed freedom. _But if you don't do this they really will through you into a cage. Besides, this is no prison. They won't mind if…if you just step out for a breath of air. Be a man; take care of your responsibilities. _

The voice in his mind had always sounded just like his father. The one man whom Kevin respected and wanted to be like more than anything. He took good care of his mother, and raised his son right, had a stable job and was free to do whatever he wanted. A great man in Kevin's eyes. And because the damn voice sounded like the one man that Kevin respected enough to obey, he took another step forward towards the entrance of the library. And he slipped into the library with the same sort of perfected quiet boredom that he had done with the first set of doors.

The air of the room hit his nose before anything else. The smell of the paper and the walls was soft, and the air both cool and warm, clean as well. Clearly this library was well taken care of, a rarity for a publically owned building. Kevin glanced up to look at the sky lights, just as clean as everything in the giant building, a welcome change from the darkness of his life at this moment. But not only was the smell and sight of this place interesting, but the company as well.

Now that he was in here he could clearly here the music being played. It was soft sort of classical music, a slow beat with strings that were drawn out and sharp noises from trumpets and basses, reminding Kevin of the same sort of film noir jazz his old juvie cell mate used to listen to. Seeing that Double D had yet to see him, and that he probably wouldn't see him unless Kevin said something, the redhead leaned up against one of the pillars and just sat back and observed.

_He's graceful. _The though flitted through Kevin's mind before he could fully process it, but as he continued to watch the smaller man swirl around, he realized it was true. Double D had a natural sense of grace that wasn't the kind that could be learned but that one had to be born with. Kevin had never been able to achieve it, constantly stepping on Jazz's toes whenever they had to attend those stupid cotillion balls in high school and middle school.

Oddly enough now he never remembered Double D being there. The other two Ed's had been forced into attendance by their parents but there had been no sign of the brainiest of the group. And without the third's calming and quiet presence it had made the other two much less polite and…less manageable, and even more troublesome and obnoxious. The lack of the brainiest Ed was something of a common occurrence back in school, at least the parts that Kevin remembered anyways.

They had been in only a few classes together, Double D at the front and Kevin in the back, and at lunch Kevin always sat with his football buds and Ralph, while the Eds had always found some corner to hide in. The only real time Kevin had ever really talked to Double D had been at a few football games where Double D served as the medic, for both the home and away games. It had been a nice thing to do, especially since the football players made fun of him constantly.

_High school….what a shitty little hole. Jesus, I was safer and better off in juvie. _

Kevin sighed a little as the memories faded away and he was once again stuck right here in the Peach Creek community library doing service hours with a nerdy kid that danced all alone to classical music. After another few seconds of watching the shorter teen dance Kevin cleared his throat and watched Double D quickly stop spinning and come face to face with him, the light and joy in his eyes slowly dying to hide behind a mask of coldness.

"Kevin, the library doesn't open for two hours and I'm expecting a new volunteer, is there something I can help you with?" Double D had managed to maneuver himself to hide behind the counter of the front desk and Kevin pushed himself off the wall, nonchalant to the world but stung by the sheer coldness in the teen's eyes and tone. So he decided that if Double D was going to be cold to the ex-juvie volunteer, then the ex-juvie would be scaring his icy heart straight to hell.

So he smirked arrogantly and chuckled darkly, just for show, "Yeah there is. I'm your new volunteer. Train me." The way Double D's color drained from his face did nothing to stop the twisting in Kevin's chest, _God they all think I'm some kind of monster don't they? Think I'm gunna beat them shitless? Fine then. That's what they get. A monster. _

Kevin walked over to the counter and propped his elbows up, leaning forward and smirked as Double D backed up until he was pressed against the table on the other side of the counter. Trapped between the desk and the shelves his butt was pressed against, Double D looked nothing less than a rabbit about to be eaten by a wolf. "Well Double D, you gunna do something? Are we going to have a problem?" Kevin nearly choked on laughter when Double D's eyes widened and he drew in a shaky breath.

Kevin kinda liked this feeling of power he held over the smaller teen. Leaning even closer over the counter Kevin winked at Double D and burst out in laughter when Double D's mouth dropped open. "Jesus, Double Dweeb you're so fucking easy to scare. Come on dude, let's get this over with." Kevin laughed and pulled back from the counter, standing nonchalantly, waiting for whatever punishment the dork had lined up for him.

Double D at first had closed his mouth then opened it again, his face contorted with annoyance and anger, Kevin actually thought the dweeb was going to yell at him, but quickly the look was dropped from the pale boy's face and he sighed quietly. His shoulders sagged and his hands unclenched, his eyes straying from Kevin's.

Double D's eyes finally settled by looking downward at his own shoes as he pushed himself off the shelves and walked around the counter, muttering a "follow me please" back at Kevin while heading towards the stair case. Kevin scoffed but quickly followed, taking the stairs two at a time until he was right behind Double D.

"So…you're in charge of me? Doesn't it seem a little odd that their letting someone younger handle me?" Kevin asked Double D, his tone condescending. It was insulting to him actually; the librarians didn't want anything to do with him so they were letting the dweeb handle him. The more he thought about it the angrier he got, and fuck Hulk, when Kevin got mad, he got devious.

"Hardly Kevin." The quiet voice snapped him from his vengeful thoughts. "The only other librarians here are both well into their eighties, they cannot move around as quickly as they wish, believe me they both wanted to be here to greet you, but since you had to come early today I told them not to lose any sleep or try and push themselves and that I would train you instead. Besides, I'm older than you are."

"You are?" Kevin had always been the oldest. Always. He had been held back in first grade, so he had a year on everyone.

"I am. I started school two years later than most children do. I'm going to be twenty soon. How…upsetting." Up until the last sentence, Double D's voice had been smooth and cool. Emotionless. But at the last few words a very hearable crack in the ice forced through the smaller man's throat.

"Twenty huh? I would never have guess you were older you're so much…tinnier." Kevin gave Double D a quick up and down as they maneuvered through the shelves of books on the second floor. When they came to a door that said "employee's only" Double D pulled out a small ring of keys and began slowly sorting through them silently.

_Not a talker hmm? Then again with the Eds for friends, he probably is used to being told to shut up. _Kevin stood behind the beanie wearing boy, when he got curious; stepping closer to the boy he gauged how much taller he was then Double D. Standing close, with only a few inches between then, Kevin estimated he was about six inches taller, _wish Jazz had been this tall, I hate bending my neck down to kiss someone._ He gave a low chuckle at the thought but was cut off when he heard the rattling of keys.

Looking over Double D's shoulder Kevin saw that the hands holding the keys were trembling and Double D's breath was quick and shallow. Kevin's brows creased with concern and he bent even closer to the smaller teen, his hands unconsciously coming to rest on the thin hips, and bent down to whisper, "is everything okay?"

**A**

The actions were unconscious and Double D knew that. He knew that Kevin didn't realize that when he stepped closer to see how much taller he was that Double D could feel the heat coming off of all those muscles. That the power of them literally seeped through the air and burned his skin with the sick and twisted lust and desire Double D was defenseless against feeling.

And when he felt those bigger hands touch his hips and that low voice whisper with concern, _God, _but he had wanted to lean back and just let the bigger man hold him. But that would be suicidal, to think that Kevin would ever…be like him, it was so…revolting. With the crack of that word splitting through the cells of Double D's brain, he dropped the keys. His eyes followed them down and as they hit the floor, Double D's mind went into a traitorous buzz of noise.

_IDIOT. Idiot, idiot, you are so clumsy and stupid! For sure he will figure out something is wrong! Fix this, you must make sure he doesn't figure out you're a…one of them. Don't be slow, move! So stupid of you. How could you let yourself get wrapped up like that? That sort of negligence is exactly why mother and father cannot stand you. So sloppy. _

The words were harsh enough to make his eyes water, though tears wouldn't, and couldn't, fall. Quickly Double D pulled himself out of Kevin's arms, turning to face the teen with his back to the wall, bending down to pick up the keys, while he murmured, "Sorry Kevin, I'm so clumsy sometimes, I wish I were so terribly horrid." He winced as he said that, because really, who said '_terribly horrid'_? Losers and geeks, that's who, "Anyways so what I think you'd prefer to do when you're here is…"

But Double D never finished his sentence. As he had risen from picking up his keys, he came face to face with Kevin. Who had somehow managed to get in close, his hand resting on the wall a few inches next to Double D's head, the taller man's face looking into his own.

He felt his back fall against the wall, and his arms came down to rest next to his body, one leg bent slight and the other hell to the wall and toe to the floor. Kevin's green met Double D's brown, and once again the blackette was struck by just how plain he truly was.

He had once, long ago, tried color contacts to see if he could fake his way to prettier eyes, but the brown irises somehow always shone though. So he had decided that having muddy dead brown eyes was fine. Rarely did someone get close enough to see. And now Kevin was close enough to see them, and Double D was close enough to see the true green of Kevin's. Not hazel, there was no brown in Kevin's eyes, but in fact a sliver of violet, or deep blue, flecks of blue in a deep green pool, too deep to be emerald green. Soft, yet hard, a feral beast hidden beneath a sleek coat of beauty.

Double D suddenly remember who he was, unfortunately. Not to mention the fact that he had been staring into Kevin's eyes. Probably being compared to Nazz's ocean blue or maybe his eyes were being compared to their earthen counterparts; mud and old moldy sticks.

With that thought, Double D lowered his gaze away from Kevin's, hoping that these few seconds would be awkwardly forgotten and they could go back to their normal distant relationship.

"Don't look away." The roughness in Kevin's voice surprised Double D, his fingers drummed silently and nervously against the wall, willing himself not to look back up into Kevin's eyes. He was probably just…joking, like he had earlier. That was all. "Come on, look at me, I wanna tell you something."

That tone. That was the same tone Eddy always used when talking about one of the pretty girls who worked at the bank, and the same tone he had heard Ed use when speaking to one of his female customers. It was fun and light and manly and…flirty. _He's just pulling your leg, don't be stupid. _

Double D sighed and reminded himself with these thoughts that the truth was the truth, so why bother? Without looking up at Kevin his fingers found the correct key and he stepped under Kevin's arm and swung the door open in one quick motion, immediately flicking on the lights and crossing the room. His back to the door, he rummaged around the files looking for things that Kevin would use today during his first day. He mumbled to himself on when he was going to reorganize this room, it was a pigsty. But the massive metal cabinets and tables were too heavy for him to move…_but with Kevin here I could…no, no I couldn't. _

"So Kevin, here's basically what you'll be doing for the next few…" Double D turned around to address Kevin, but the red head wasn't there.

"Kevin?" Double D set down the papers he had gathered and wandered back to the doorway, and peeked out, left than right. But there was no sign of Kevin. "Kevin? Where are you, please come back." Double D hated how pathetic his voice sounded. But more than his dislike of his own voice was that sickening feeling in his stomach; he was getting a bit scared. What if Kevin jumped out from behind a bookcase? He hated being surprised or scared. It freaked him out. He liked safe. And predictable.

He called out Kevin's name twice more, not moving from the doorway, too afraid of the library now, _Lovely, Kevin has ruined one of my few happy places. Just wonderful. _The sarcasm splashed its way across his mind before he could control it. Mentally he slapped himself, sarcasm was unbecoming and unfair to people. Kevin hadn't done anything wrong; Double D just needed to change his attitude towards the situation.

So he pulled himself back into the backroom and began to slowly go through paperwork, however never completely taking his attention away from the door. Five minutes past. Then ten. Then fifteen. And before he could blink it was only an hour until the library opened. Which meant that the two other volunteers would be here soon, expecting a fully trained and capable Kevin.

Double D sighed slightly and pulled himself to his feet, adjusting his beanie as he began to make his way to the door. He pulled in a deep breath and let it go again before exiting the confines of the room, his little happy place. Quietly he stepped out in the hallways and began to wonder around looking for Kevin, being wary of corners and hiding places where the redhead could surprise him.

After a few minutes of searching for Kevin, he was prepared to give up and let the idea of Kevin ditching take over. It would, after all, be the most logical solution to his absence. Then he heard it. A soft noise coming from the third floor. Carefully Double D crept up the stairs to where he had heard the noise. And he heard it again, a soft sort of groan, almost a…snore.

Double D walked over to the small lounge area that had been made for people to group study at, a few chairs and comfy sofas to rest on. Looking over the edge of one sofa, Double D almost giggled at the sight he saw. It was Kevin; napping on the sofa, his hat on the table and his hands acting as a pillow.

Double D felt a small smile tug at his mouth at the sight of Kevin in such a vulnerable state. And though he knew that it was only a momentary thought, one that hadn't even registered on Kevin's radar, it was nice to know that he was comfortable enough to fall asleep here. Hesitantly, Double D tapped Kevin on the shoulder, and when he got no response he gently shook his shoulder.

Kevin slowly came to and looked up blurrily at Double D, "What?" He slurred sleepily.

Double D felt a warm of desire run over his skin and immediately froze. This was wrong, and he couldn't let Kevin see it. So instead of smiling he let the frost and ice in his aching heart course through his veins and soak into his voice.

"Wake up Kevin; you still need to be trained for volunteering. You should have slept last night. Now please get up and follow me, no tricks, we have things to do." He almost winced at his own tone; he was starting to sound as cold as his mother. But considering that Kevin was now sitting up and glaring at him with anger that could've burn him alive, he knew he had succeeded in hiding his nauseating feelings.

"Please stop glaring at me. It's hardly my fault you got arrested for your own stupidity. I'm merely here to make sure you get back onto the right path." Double D knew the second those words left his mouth he was going to die.

Kevin stood up and towered Double D, whispering in a deadly quiet tone, "What did you just say to me?"

**AAAA**

**Review please.**

**Thank you.**

**Xoxo **


	5. Chapter 5

**It's been a while. But not nearly long enough. **

**AAAA**

Double D might have been raped. That was all Kevin could think about when they shorter boy had bent over to retrieve the fallen keys and his tight bottom had been pressed against Kevin's crotch. It had only been a brush, and it had only been for a few moments until the other teen had turned around and looked up into his eyes. Those eyes. Big and innocent as puppy dog eyes, they were the color of warm chocolate and maple syrup, all the sweet sugary things that made Kevin's mouth water with hunger.

But it wasn't just the eyes, it was their expression; a sort of self-hating helplessness that made Kevin feel like a man; a stronger, more capable man than he had ever been. The kind of man that could protect and take care of a woman, a wife, someone to depend on him and be there to reassure him that he was _needed_. Someone to rub his feet when he got home from a long day of work, to cook him a proper meal and make him feel like a king at home. Someone to keep him satisfied in the bedroom. And that was no easy feat; Kevin had a libido that most porn stars couldn't achieve.

All of these thoughts, these wishes, daydreams, and needs had come rushing up to the surface when he was faced with those eyes. He had forgotten Double D was a boy; such smooth pale skin, big eyes, and small body, it didn't even register in Kevin's mind. He had acted naturally, moved quickly into a trapping position and started to flirt with the teen, hoping to get a smile from those pale pink lips. Because if a goddamn expression could get him harder than a steel pipe, then imagine what a damn smile could get him.

All those sexy, needy, greedy, lewd, crude, and horny thoughts flew right out the window when Double D's had looked away and left Kevin's trap, easy as you please. No one had every denied him. It was not a fun thing to feel. Kevin nearly howled with rage at being denied the chance to see those sexy pink lips.

But as Double D began to speak faintly about duties and jobs, Kevin stood outside the door and realized something. Double D was _a fucking boy. _Now Kevin had been in juvie for two long years. And the science was simple. Lots of horny teen9n boys. No relief. You were a top, or you were getting topped. So Kevin had put on a attitude, built up his muscles and kneed a few dozen guys in the nuts. Several times he had to do it to repeating offenders. Because dammit if some men didn't fucking get that no meant _no_.

It had been after one of those incidences that Kevin swore to never push a girl for sex. Ever. It was a terrible thing to do. And Kevin wouldn't be one of those men; his father hadn't been, and he wanted nothing more than to make his father proud. So he hadn't pushed any of the younger, weaker boys for sex. He hadn't given it to the ones that offered it. Didn't matter how long their hair was or how girly they looked. The plumbing wasn't the same.

Kevin did, however, learn all about man on man sex from his cell mate. That boy had been a horny asshole, who felt no remorse over using and dumping. He had taught Kevin several things on how to lure in the women that came and visited on the conjugal visitation days. The women that came solely to sleep with the boys, because they were twisted perverse women. But hey, Kevin wasn't too picky at that point.

His cellmate though, didn't have a censor on certain subject. So Kevin knew how to please a man as easy as any women. Though he never thought he'd ever. Ever. Fucking _ever,_ even considered using that knowledge.

But as he stood awkwardly with one hand on the wall and the other loosely by his side, Double D still talking, Kevin considered it. He had been so pent up with need and lust and anger at Nazz for not being there, when she had promised she would have been that Kevin would have jumped anyone.

The thought of Double D's pale naked body on top of one of those tables, his legs around Kevin's waist, and moaning as Kevin buried his big, fat and, Jesus Christ, _aching_, cock into that tight heat. Well...needless to say Kevin was scared shitless. And when Double D began to call out his name and walk back towards the door, Kevin panicked. So he did what he should have done all those years ago; he bolted. Quietly though, he turned and began walking, hiding behind the massive bookcases and making his way up onto the third floor.

Spotting the couch he had been overcome with the tiredness of the sleep that had eluded him last night and he lay there, thinking, trying not to think actually. _Jesus, if he hadn't...left, then I would have…I fucking would have raped him. Right there against that wall, no condom, no lube, no regard for him. I'm a monster. I really am a monster._ The thought was the last one he had before a gentle nap claimed him. And in that dream…oh he had done naughty things to Double D…

…"_Give it to me Kevin, give it to me now!" The voice whispered in his ear, and he felt a tight velvety heat being pressed against the engorged head of his length. He didn't even think twice, he just pushed gently and smoothly into the tight space that seemed to be made for him. He felt a thin pair of legs wrap around his waist and his hands came to grasp narrow hips. Pulling out he smirked at the gasp of whoever was surrounding him. He slammed back in and quickly pulled himself out till just the head was resting there. After hearing the whimper of need and the tight entrance almost sucking him in, he slammed back._

_He felt a wet tongue touch his ear and he shuddered as he continued his harsh and yet amazing assault on the tight hole of his lover. He felt hot skin pushing against his own, and soon he was licking someone's throat, enjoying every single moan and whimper that he alighted from the body beneath his. _

_But his lover was not going to let him have all the fun. As Kevin continued to thrust in and out of the tight heat, he felt a single hand gripping his shoulder, small nails digging into his skin with a delicious sort of pain while another hand was guiding his face up to meet the lips of his lover. Closing his eyes, Kevin pressed his face into the crook of their neck sucking on the skin there, loving the tightening of the legs around his waist and the wanton squirming he caused._

_But then he looked up into his lover's face. Looking to see Nazz's blue eyes or maybe the green eyes of one of the women from conjugal days. But instead he saw chocolate brown, and candy pink lips. Smiling his lover said, "You look surprised to see me." _

_Kevin kissed those lips hard as he slid back into the warm welcoming of his lover's sex. "I'm always happy to see you baby. Surprised or not. Let's have some fun huh?" _

_He got a long hiss in response to his question, at which he himself smirked with satisfaction. It wasn't everyday that you got a lay as good as this…_

…And then the star of his dream had gently waked him up, by placing that small, thin hand on his shoulder, and giving him a look of pure need. A look that had been replace so quickly by cold fire that Kevin thought he had made a mistake by seeing something like that in Double D.

Then Double D had called him stupid. And also had brought up his jail time, and the small incident that had led up to it. And that didn't go over so well with him. He felt a fierce anger rise towards the surface of his skin, and he could tell that his eyes were narrowed with anger. No one, not a single person, had ever called him out on his arrest. Even his parents realized it was a sensitive subject. So for Double D to so blatantly and so damn coldly to talk about it was just…unacceptable.

_Who the fuck does he think he is? _Kevin thought, standing slowly and approaching the smaller teen, who was now shrinking away from Kevin in fear. "What did you just say to me?" He said with malice. He would beat the _shit _out of Double D. No one got away with saying things like that to him. And damn him if he was going to let someone start.

"I didn't hear you, Double Dork," He spat out the nickname, "_What did you say?"_ He rounded the couch slowly, stalking the beanie headed teen, who had managed to get himself caught between Kevin and a bookshelf. Double D's eyes were wide with fear and his hands came up in a protective gesture in front of his body.

"K-Kevin I didn't m-mean to…" Double D was stuttering with fear, his head slowly tilting back as Kevin pressed him into the bookshelf. Soon they were mere inches apart, Double D's head tilted back and his body tense from looking up from his 5'7 height to Kevin's 6'2.

"Yes you did. You wanted to sound like a cold bitch." Double D flinched at the last few words, and Kevin felt a small glimmer of remorse for doing this to the smaller boy, but the anger kept pushing up and the remorse sank away. "And because of that, I'm going to treat you like a cold bitch." _And get what I want. _

Kevin grabbed the arms that Double D had meagerly thrown up in an attempt to shield himself from Kevin, smirking when Double D dew in a quick breath, biting his lip and looking down at his shoes.

"Alright."

Kevin stopped smirking and stopped pushing Double D around, instead he just stared, mouth open. Looking down at those big brown puppy dog eyes that looked back into his own eyes with wide-eyed hopelessness.

"…Alright?" Kevin questioned, with a disbelieving tone, "What? You're just going to…take it?" Kevin harshly spat out the last few words, and Double D flinched silently.

"Yes Kevin, alright." Double D twisted slightly and Kevin reacted without thought, merely lifted Double D's arms up and pinned them above his head, holding the small wrists with one hand. Thrusting his other hand he pushed Double D back until they were pressed against one another, faces mere inches away.

"Alright what?"

"I'm sorry. Please…just let me go." Kevin heard the words, but he barely processed them. All he could think about, all he could look at were those pale pink lips that moved up and down. Unlike Kevin's own chapped lips, rough and dry, Double D's looked soft and moist and smooth and…really, really kissable.

"No…I told you, Double Dork that I was…I was gunna treat you just like you…" He couldn't ignore the feeling anymore. He felt the words fade from his throat and he bent himself down and pressed his lips against Double D's.

It wasn't a hard kiss, and Double D didn't struggle, in fact, he let out a small sound of pleasure. Though the kiss was simple, only a press of the lips, a slight tilt of the head, it was sweet and warm and tender all at the same time.

Kevin kept his lips pressed firmly against Double D's even when he squirmed against Kevin, who in response to the squirming of the smaller boy, pressed his entire body against Double D's. Chest to chest, Double D's back arched off the bookshelf, though his hands were pinned by Kevin's bigger one, and the redhead's other hand slid down to grasp the lower back of Double D and pulled them flush against one another.

Breaking the kiss, Kevin pulled back and looked down at Double D, thoughts swirling and guilt in his stomach at doing this, _I'm supposed to be straight. I am straight. I am…screw it. _He bent his head down against, this time he was met halfway by the hungry lips of the paler boy. Tilting his head to one side Kevin pressed hard, almost slamming Double D's head against the bookshelf but the blackette was surprisingly strong, and pushed back against Kevin, who made a sound of appreciation low in his throat.

Breaking again for air after a few moments of harsher stronger kisses, Double D turned his head away from Kevin and opened his mouth to say something but Kevin wasn't ready for the cold words of reality the smarter teen was sure to say, so he attacked the exposed and thin neck in front of him, licking the delicately warm skin and scraping his teeth ever so slightly against the veins.

Any words that Double D had been about to say were lost, taken over by a breathy moan that tingle down Kevin's skin to his pants, which had tighten…a lot. The hand he had at Double D's back massaged the skin gently underneath the soft cotton of his shirt.

He lets his lips lick their way down to the sharp bones of Double D's collar bone, placing a kiss upon the tips. He looked up suddenly, when he heard a whimper, and this one was not of pleasure. His eyes connected with Double D's, which were filled with tears that threatened to pour out.

"K-Kevin, n-no, I can't do this…don't do this to me." The voice was so pathetic that Kevin raised his head and looked down at Double D.

And then it hit him. He had pushed a teenage boy against a bookshelf and basically forced himself onto him. The thought was enough to make Kevin rip himself off of Double D, who in turn slumped to the floor, hitting it with a painful sounding _thump, _and letting out a small cry of pain. Kevin looked down to the body gasping on the floor and then to his hands, which were shaking violently.

Then without a word he ran. Down two flights of stairs, past the doors and down the streets. He didn't stop, didn't blink, didn't think, just ran, and ran, through the twisted streets of Peach creek until he had managed to bury himself in the forest of trees. Past the fences and the old houses of his childhood, through the community of half constructed houses that still sat unfinished, a monument to the lagging economy.

Sinking down onto his knees when he had finally reached a spot far enough away, he threw up. The bitter vile of his breakfast past his lips without pause, sickening him even more until he emptied his stomach completely. Shakily rising from his position on the ground he was able to stumble forward from one tree to another, catching himself with agony and pain of his head, heart, and stomach. Tears of pure hatred made their way down his face silently.

He didn't think, he kept his mind blissfully blank, not letting anything affect him, waiting. Waiting until he could let it all out. He reached the creek, followed the sleepy water down towards the pond they had all used as a pool so long ago. Looking carefully around, making sure nothing and no one was near, he screamed. Loud and pain-filled e let it go until he sank to his knees again, dizzy and light-headed.

But worse than the pain in hid throat or stomach, were the thoughts. Those damn thoughts. Thinking, that's all he could do, as his body shook violently from terror and self-hatred, _what have I done, what did I do, what is the matter with me? _

**AAA**

_What is the matter with me? _Double D pushed himself off of the ground after a few minutes of listening to Kevin running away, and then to the sound of silence and his own spastic heart beat. Standing up straight he fixed the hair underneath his beanie and straightened his shirt, walking calmly down the stairs back to the work room, "This is what I get for wear these jeans and this shirt, could have worn simple, easy clothing, but oh no, I had to be different." He muttered to himself the whole way back into the room, though it was said with amusement.

That had been the most…emotionally interesting and physically pleasing four minutes of Double D's life. Then he had to remember who it was that was making him feel so good. He sighed a little as he leaned against the edge of the table, the edge digging into the back of his thighs, shoulders hunching, eyes staring straight ahead into nothingness.

Without knowing it, Double D placed his hand over his heart, feeling the skin stretched over his ribcage without muscle or fat to cushion it, to feel that slower and steady rhythm of cold hard life. His heart didn't hurt; it didn't beat any faster when he pulled Kevin back into his mind, if anything the dull thumping seemed to mock him with its lack of excitement. Maybe it hadn't happened. Maybe it wasn't what he had thought had happened.

But what had happened? Kevin had seemed so mad, so ready to beat him into a pulp, but he hadn't. He had kissed him. _Kissed _him. Which Double D had never, not even in a million year, been able to calculate or foresee as an option for what had been going to happen. He had been expecting something different. Something not as magical, or special, or as…thrilling.

_I hadn't been expecting to get kissed_. The thought kept playing, he had been expecting anger, a punch or two, and a lot of empty threats. Now in the moment, he had been scared out of his mind. Who wouldn't be? But when Kevin had kissed him, _oh goodness_, when Kevin had really _kissed _him. Double D had found God. _They say your first kiss is always the worst, well, if that's the worst, then I want it bad. _Double D blushed at his own thoughts, and then sighed heavily with the sinking feelings of reality.

It had been his fault for stopping Kevin. He had wanted it to keep going but…deep down in his heart, under the dripping hot desire for Kevin's kisses, he had known this wasn't what he wanted, or how he wanted it. He wanted romance, and love, and caring, someone who wanted him, not his body.

Maybe it was a mistake to think that it was even a possibility. Double D was practical, and he knew that whatever had occurred was never going to happen again. It was best to file it away a fantasy, a memory, a fleeting wish that had come true by a rare stroke of fate. After all Double D was due for a good dose of fate, and maybe this had been it. He had endured years of humiliation at Kevin's hands, at the hands of the redhead's football friends, and the less than pleasant females that always clung to them.

Perhaps this was a sort of payback to him for all he had endured. The thought was ridiculous though, and so it was quickly locked away behind the wall of practical and smart. His lips tingled delicately with the bruising force and heat that Kevin had pressed against them. a blush rushed up when he thought of the strong hands that had held his own above his head, leaving him essentially helpless.

It had been a pleasant feeling at the beginning, when Kevin had kissed him, but as Kevin let his passion overrule him and he began to assault Double D's neck the panic had set in. And the pleasant feeling of being controlled had turned into the sickening feeling of being captured and being held against his will. And like his fear of the wide open spaces and the great outdoors, the idea of being tortured against his will was sickening to him.

Gently he rubbed his sore wrists and the spot on his neck that still tingled with the feeling of Kevin's lips. _I wonder if he's coming back? I wonder where he even went? _For a flickering second he felt nervous, but then remember that Kevin wasn't after all, a weak or scared man, like himself. He could handle himself.

Double D looked up suddenly when he heard a clicking sound echo through the library, his eyes darting to the clock up in the corner, and gave a low huff when he realized the other volunteers where here. And Kevin wasn't. Double D's eyes darted around, looking for a solution to the problem at hand.

Quickly deciding his course of action he switched off the lights and locked the door, taking a deep breath, he calm called down the stairs as he descended, "Good morning ladies! How are we this fine morning?"

Iris and Isis were both well into their eighties, but dressed like they were living in the eighteen hundreds, with big dresses and too muck makeup, both fans of the dramatic arts. But then, they were part of the character of the Library. Both good women, Double D had a deep respect for both, and always endeavored to be as accommodating to them as possible.

The sisters looked up at him and smiled, both answering in the usual way, and then asking about their "new little helper". Double D tried his best to control the flush that was attempting to rush up his cheeks. After a moment he let his eyes drift upwards and smile, "He's upstairs in the workroom, doing paperwork and filing. He isn't feeling too good though," He gave a small sigh of empathy, "I told him to do all he could and that we would let him take it easy today."

The lie slipped out so easily, and both of the ladies gave their murmurs of apologies and "poor dearie" before going behind the counter, talking and gossiping merrily. Double D followed them with trepidation, hoping that today wasn't going to be the day that the octogenarians decided to actually go up to the second floor.

**A**

**Dramatic aren't they?**

**xoxo**


End file.
